Isaiah 55: 8-9 NKJV
I've been there before, and I've heard others profess their anger at God. For me, it was the night my mother passed away. On that night my anger with my Lord ran deep. How could he take my mother, such a Godly woman, from us? Where was His promise of provision in times of turmoil? Where was His promise to never leave me or forsake me? In my grief over my moms passing, I didn't recognize the nature of my questions which I was asking Him. Days later, I revisited that night and my angry confrontation with the God who loved me enough to redeem me. The questions which I asked of God were all centered on one thing...ME! Why had my God forsaken me? Why had God brought this pain on me? Having been blinded by my own pain, I hadn't recognized this at first. It was all about me. Never once did I think of my mother and her condition. This is where our grief can carry us, it is personal for everyone who experiences it. Thinking back, I wonder just what right I had to ask God to allow my mother to live in her pain any longer. Yes, I loved her and wanted her to be healed, as did her friends who prayed over her. However, seeing her each day, I knew first hand the physical pain that she was feeling. She put on a brave face, but I knew she was hurting. Was I angry at God for taking my mother when He did, absolutely! However, on the other hand, He answered my mothers prayer to be free of her pain.
"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Then He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." And He said to me, "Write, for these words are true and faithful." And He said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Begining and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. "He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be my son."
Revelation 21: 4-7 NKJV
One thing that has helped me deal with my mothers passing can be found in Revelation 21:5. It is here that God promises He will make all things new. Not only the earth, but also those who have gone before us. For my mother, her pain is no more and she is dwelling in the presence of her Lord whom she loved. I can ask for nothing more than that, for she is safe now.
He said it pretty matter of factly enough that it surprised me at first. "I've lost a few people in the past few months, and I'm PISSED at God!" This young man, who walked into our grief recovery class recently, was obviously in his own personal hell. I knew the pain he was feeling, for it's the pain I carry as well. Although it is personal to everyone, everyone handles it differently. I couldn't blame him for his anger, I remember a night not so long ago where I was angry with God. I'm sure those very same emotions which I carried with me will haunt him as well. However, we can rest assured that our Lord will indeed make all things new once more. Ours is a story with a happy ending.
~Scott~
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