He who is not loving knew not God, for God is love
First Epistle of John 4: 8, Concordant New Testament
The conversation this past week centered around marriage and the love between two people involved. I have been blessed in my life to have come to know a few Godly men who have been married for many years. It is these brothers to whom I often turn to when seeking advice not only on the possibility of marriage but on relationships as well. When I talk with those who have not been married very long there is a unique difference in how they often describe their relationship with their spouse. A gym rat friend recently spoke to his need to earn the love and affection of his wife of only a few years. Granted, I am not privy to the inner circles of their relationship, but this sounded strange to me. How would someone who has promised to love another person until death do them part ever feel as if they needed to earn the love of the other? Well, in the context of what we've come to know as church and religion, this is exactly what we've been taught about our own relationship with God. The fact that we have to earn His love. I've spent many a Sunday morning listening to one pulpit pounder after another threaten me with losing my salvation if I didn't behave in a way pleasing to God. Sadly, there are many well-meaning Christians out there who have resorted to finding love and acceptance from another person instead of realizing the love which has been freely given to us from the Father. The apostle John goes so far as to speak to the one nature of God, which is love {First Epistle of John 4:8}. Indeed, I would offer that it is His live for us which drives all which the Father does. It is through His love for us that we were created in His likeness {Genesis 1:27}. It is also through His love for us that He dispatched His Son to be that propitiation for our sin {Johns Account 3:16-17}. God does not seek payment for that which He freely gives to us. It is the knowing of the Fathers love for me that has brought me through many a tough time. It is that realization of His love that has revealed to me that my value and worth are not determined by how others around me perceive me. I am His child, and He loves me as His own {First Epistle of John 3:1}.
Yet God, being rich in mercy, because of His vast love with which He loves us (we also being dead to the offenses and the lusts), vivifies us together in Christ (in grace are you saved!)
Paul to the Ephesians 2: 4-5, Concordant New Testament
I cannot imagine a life lived where my own self-worth was dictated by someone else. Yet this is the point where I was before my life in Him was revealed to me. I would look to those around me for the acceptance I desired. It was their opinions of me which often drove my own feelings of self-worth. If they didn't like me, I all too often didn't like myself too much. I look back on my conversation with my friend this week and I see those same struggles in him. Each day fighting for the right to earn the love of someone who has vowed to love him forever. I will note that my friend is one of those who knows about God, but has never known Him in that personal way in which I have come to know Him. Therefore, I can see his own struggles in those which I once faced. I have taken it upon myself to remind him of the Fathers love for him at each and every opportunity. My prayer is that God will open his heart to that revelation of His love for us. Although it seems sad and tragic to be involved in a relationship where we feel the need to validate the love of another, this is where we find ourselves. Social media is thick with people who struggle with the acceptance of others each and every day. Clicking that "Like" button has become more important to most people than actually liking someone for who they are. For their part, the mainstream church speaks to God having His own like button. He will click His like button in our favor if we behave in a way which pleases Him. However, if we don't, His approval of us will wane to the point that our own freely given salvation could be in doubt. This is what religion has taught us! I am grateful that I have the truth of His love in my heart. The truth not of the acceptance of others, but of a love freely given.
~Scott~
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