My Sister, Our Family.

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultry'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already commited adultry with her in his heart."

Matthew 5: 27-28 NASV 

A friend of mine recently related a story to me that somewhat changed my perception of  how we as christian men may ultimately view those of the opposite sex.  It seems a man was sitting in a room when a rather unattractive woman entered.  Now, this woman was by no means a beauty to behold in any way.  However, upon seeing her, the man immediately began to seek her attention!  I know, shocking to say the least.  I mean, each person has that certain person whom  they are attracted to, but this was ridiculous.  Now came the shocking part of the story.  Immediately after the unattractive woman came into the room, a very beautiful woman also entered the room our friend was in.  Now, unlike the previous visitor, this woman was extremely attractive by anyones standards.  However, as the beautiful woman entered the room, the man made NO attempt garner her attention at all!  Perplexed by this turn of events, another man in the room asked our friend just why he had refused to gain the attention of such a pretty female.  The mans response spoke volumes, "She's my sister."  WHAT?  Could we have just unlocked the secret to the male/female dynamic?  For what man would EVER attempt to make a move on his own sister?  This turned into a very important lesson for me.  

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.  So husbands  ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his own wife loves Himself; For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.

Ephesians 5: 25-30 NASV 

Why did this man seek the affections of a unattractive woman over a beautiful one?  Well, as he stated, he did so because one of these two women was his own sister.  It juts so happens that his sister happened to be extremely attractive.  Had I been present in this room and witnessed this scene, I would have surely recomeneded this poor sot for a full psychiatric examination!  I mean, who does that?  Well, that's what I get for not knowing the whole story.  On the flip side of that, had I a sister and some sheister tried to come on to her, I'd be the first one to try to convince him of the error of his ways!  This is our natural protective instinct.  Why was this story such a eye opener for me?  Well, it caused me to reflect on the truth which we find in Jesus' sermon on the mount in Matthew 5.  For not only did Jesus tell those assembled not to commit adultry, his audience was already familiar with that idea.  No, Jesus took it one step further by proclaiming that "Everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already commited adultry with her in his heart."  Now, even I cannot make the claim that I have never had improper  thoughts towards a woman, it happens.  Not only that, if it hasn't  happened to you, it will!  This is the bastardized, fleshly version of the attraction to the opposite sex with which our Lord has instilled in us.  While it is not a bad thing to be attracted to a woman, it's how we act on that attraction which Jesus was adressing here.  

Ok, back to this revelation which I claimed I received upon hearing this story.  What struck me most was the woman whom this man chose to seek the attention of.  Most would call her unattractive, yet he sought her attention.  Like most, I would have been surprised upon seeing him choose her over the beautiful woman.  Yet, we now know there was a reason for this.  The very reason that he did not seek the attention of the beautiful woman was because his very instincts saw her as his sister, and that changed the entire dynamic.  His thoughts now turned from those of attraction to love, protection an nurturing.  All of the attribuutes one would expect of someone caring for a family member.  The apostle Paul gives us a excellent representation of this idea in Ephesians 5.  As Paul tells us, "He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nurtures and cherishes it."  This is a example of the true attraction between the sexes which our Lord has beautifully designed from the begining.  What grip would lust and pornography have on us if we viewed others in this way?

~Scott~