Singleness

But I want you to be without care.  He who is unmarried cares for the things og the Lord - how he may please the Lord.  But he who is married cares about the things of the world - how he may please his wife.  There is a difference between a wife and a virgin.  The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.  But she who is married cares about the things of the world - how she may please her husband.  And this I say for your own profit, not that I may may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
1 Corinthians 7: 32-35 NKJV

The pressure builds for many of those around us.  The general idea in our American society would be that a man/woman would reach a certain age before considering the idea of marriage.  Some call it the "Biological clock" while others chalk it up to pressure from others.  Whatever the path one chooses, you can rest assured that there will be expectations.  My grandparents were married when they were both pretty near twenty years old, my own parents were the same way.  This was the way things were done in their time.  Parents raised their children, the children grew and matured, they met and they married.  This entire process often reminds me of the life cycle of the common bird.  The eggs are carefully looked after, the young birds eventually grow to a point where they are too big for the nest whereupon mommy and papa bird show the young ones their way out of the nest to begin life on their own.  And the cycle repeats itself over and over.  Is it any wonder, then, that parents whose children have finaly left home are refered to as "Empty nesters?"  Once the children have left home, there is that expectation for them to settle down and continue the cycle, to have families of their own.  Of course, along with those expectations comes the pressure from friends and family that the single christian should be settling down into their own family life.  That's all well and good, but sometimes I think we place too much pressure on those around us who are single.  Believe me, I know of what I speak, for I have yet to enter into that journey of marriage and family.

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.  Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.  And Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man."  Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2: 21-24 NKJV

It is interesting that the meaning of the word 'Woman' is actually said to mean "From man."  I guess it's logical, as Eve was created from Adam.  The purest form of the male/female relationship is found in Genesis 2:24.  It is here where we see our Lords view of the relationship dynamic as, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."  Remember the example of the birds?  So, the expectation is that children will leave the nest of their birth and be joined to another, and the two shall become one.  Far from entering into a marriage relationship where both husband and wife therefore proceed to live seperate but equal lives in the same house, Gods desire is that the we would become one flesh with our mates.  So, what is to be said of those christians among us who remain seeking their mate?  The pressure and expectations of those around us can be daunting at times.   Of course, the old apostle Paul made the claim that one could also remain single in the Lord.

I suppose therefore that it is good because of the present distress - that it is good for a man to remain as he is: Are you bound to a wife?  Do not seek to be loosed.  Are you loosed from a wife?  Do not seek a wife.  But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.  Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
1 Corinthians 7: 26-28 NKJV

Thanks Paul!  As you might expect, I've heard from many a christian know it all who has pointed to this passage and made the empty claim that it is good for me to remain single.  Yeah, thanks Paul!  Now, should one pursue a marraige relationship at the expense of his/her relationship with Jesus?  NO!  That would be akin to placing someone above our relationship with Christ.  Indeed, I believe that one can pursue a relationship with the intent to marry while still having a strong relationship with Christ.  In fact, I believe this is prefered.  I find it amusing that those married individuals among my friends claim that I have "No clue" as to the marriage relationship dynamic.  Of course, neither did they as they searched for the one whom they would become one with.  Back in that day, they were just like me.  Oh how times have changed.

~Scott~