Not My Jesus

4You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 5They are of the world. Therefore they speak as of the world, and the world hears them. 6We are of God. He who knows God hears us; he who is not of God does not hear us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.
1 John 4: 4 - 6 NKJV

Every now and then I'll see a news story of some church official who, after many years in the church, finally decided that enough was enough.  Usually, my first question will be what took them so long?  I jumped off of the institutional church bandwagon years ago and I still consider it one of the best decisions I ever made.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating for others to leave the church.  That is a heart matter decided by everyone on their own.  For me it was quite simple, the Jesus which the church was presenting to me wasn't the Jesus I wanted to know.  I wasn't down with a Jesus who gave His life that my sins would be forgiven me yet continued to hear my prayers seeking forgiveness for anything I'd done.  That didn't sound like forgiveness to me in any way.  Of course, it took me awhile to realize that this was never meant to be the true nature of Christ, but merely our interpretation of Him.  We've gotten lost in admiring a Jesus who is fictional in some ways.  Yet, when I discovered another side of Christ I was refered to as a heretic by some in the church.  I guess seeking the true Christ is something that's not allowed by our church fathers.  Again, I apologize to any who may feel like I am pushing a new Jesus because I'm not.  More than anything, this is about redefining the Jesus we already have come to know.  That is ultimately what led me to seek out who He really is.  See, I wanted a personal relationship with Him, but I couldn't even do that because it seems that I was forbidden from even being in Gods presence.  It seems what was keeping me from knowing Jesus on a more intimate level were my own sins I continued to carry with me.  Despite the fact that it was Jesus who died to put to death the sins I still held on to with a death grip.  I don't believe that this was how Jesus wanted me to live, always atoning for things He bled and died to put away forever.  This wasn't the Jesus I wanted to know.  The Jesus I wanted to know was the Jesus I had read so much about.  The Jesus of forgiveness, grace and healing.  I had no time for the message of condemnation which the church at times fed to me.  That wasn't me Jesus.

14“I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. 15“As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. 16“And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd.
John 10: 14 - 16 NKJV

So, I pose a question to those who would question my decision.  What is your answer to all the former church members who are now leaving the church?  Are they heretics as well?  Are they somehow misguided?  I would say neither.  I believe that there is a movement out there where people are seeking to know the Jesus who is not being preached by the church.  They want to know the same Christ who led me into a closer relationship with Him.  It is a myth that we cannot have a closer relationship with Christ.  It is a myth that we continue to be sinners, thereby we cannot be in the presence of Christ Jesus.  The truth is that we are now dead to sin.  The truth is that we are no longer slaves to those sins that once defined us {Romans 6:6 - 11}.  Since the sin issue has now been decided, what now prevents us from coming into a more personal relationship with Christ Jesus?  I'll tell you what...NOTHING.  Believe me, this took me awhile to realize myself, so I get it.  Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be in the presence of Jesus?  To walk with Him wherever you go?  Well, He's inviting you into such a relationship right now.  The apostle Paul tells us that it is the Spirit of Christ Jesus who now dwells within us {Galations 2:20}.  There is no guilt or shame some pulpit pounder can bestow upon you that will ever change the truth of Christ Jesus in us.  The church will tell me that I need to be "more like Jesus" in my daily life.  The pastors will tell me that it is my sin which keeps me seperate from a relationship with Christ.  You can believe that bunk if you want to.  That's not the Jesus I've come to know.

~Scott~