1 John 4: 7 - 8 NKJV
There was a time when I questioned the love of God. Times when I would ask, "does He love me...or does He not? As a Christian I had been taught to love, respect and fear God. I understood the love and respect...but fear? In my heart, God didn't seem all too scary to me. In fact, all that I saw of Him was love. Love for His children. Love for those desperate and in need. Love for those who had never known as much. Yet I was told that there was a side of God that I needed to fear. For if I fell out of step or sinned once again, I could expect Him to display His displeasure with me in some way. I began to see each and every negative circumstance in my life as a angry Gods discipline. That's just the way this Christian life was. This is the life we choose. However, I would find out that there was yet another life out there. A life where I could live in Gods love, never needing to wonder if He loved me or not. A life not lived through the fear of His impending reprisals. It's funny, but this "other" life was something I never learned in a church. Quite the opposite. All too often we will associate our own interactions with God on our own experiences. If we've experienced bad relationships, then we may well carry over some of our pain in our understanding of who God is. If we've never experienced love on our own, then the love of God may seem out of reach for us. Growing up without a father, I soon began to associate God with my dad. My own dads love was conditional, so I saw Gods love as conditional as well. This was all I knew about the love of a father. This is why I sometimes questioned whether or not God loved me. How could He love me when I behaved badly? How could he love me when my own father wouldn't show his love towards me? I saw God as I saw my own dad, distant and only there when times were good. Yes, Jesus bled on the cross for my forgiveness, but if I wasn't such a dirty sinner, then He wouldn't have needed to endure all of that. Forgiveness? Well, I didn't feel too forgiven. Each day I would pray that God would forgive me for all I had done in hopes that He would have mercy on me. This was the Christian life as I knew it.
In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
1 John 4: 9 - 10 NKJV
All too often, those of us who live the Christian life live a life outside of our heavenly Fathers love. Instead of living in His truth, we toil away in a life apart from Him believing in our minds that this is the reality of God. That was my life. How is it that we can live in His love when we question His love each and every day? Am I adequate? Do I fit the image that God has for me? Undoubtedly, our own image of God may often be tied to our own vision of ourselves. If we have a negative self image, then may well see ourselves as unlovable to God. Yep, I've been there too. However, nothing could be further from the truth of who God really is. Who is God? Well, God is...love {1 John 4:8}. The apostle John makes a important point. It has never been because of our love for Him...but that He has loved us from the start {1 John 4:9}. Despite our own misgivings, biases and negative feelings, God created us in His own image {Genesis 1:27}. He loved us enough to provide for our future in Him even before we had our first bad thought. His love for us has never been performance based. We are who we are, and He is who He is. This has never been a life we chose, but a life lovingly planned out by the Father. For He knew us before we were born {Ephesians 1:4}. So what does it mean to live "in" Gods love? Knowing. I know in my heart that In was lovingly created in his own image. I know that not only did Christ become sin at the cross, but that He provided for Himself to live through me {Galatians 2:20}. I can live in Gods love because Christ Jesus lives through me. He is not distant, far off or removed from my life, but He IS my life. This is living in Gods love. When Christ is in us, the love of God shines through us as well. Living a life in Him is more about our own realization than our own choice. For even while I struggled with Gods identity, His Spirit still thrived within me. I began to live and thrive in His love when I began to see Christ Jesus in me. This is our life in Him.
Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love.
Ephesians 1: 4 NKJV
~Scott~
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