Genesis 2: 18 NKJV
Happy wife happy life. We've all heard that phrase tossed about before. The premise is that in order to have a happy and functional home, the wife must be satisfied and happy. Did I miss something along the way? Was anyone concerned about the other half of the equation? I never heard too many people say, happy husband happy life. Probably because it does not rhyme too well. While I am a firm believer in harmony in the marriage relationship, I believe that it goes both ways. I have listened this week to series by pulpit pounder Alistair Begg on just what it takes to make a good marriage. A few of his points I could get behind, but there were also those that sort of made me nauseous. I get the entire God created a suitable helper bit, that goes without question. See, I see many married guys as simply yes men. Echoing their own wives opinions and views without even realizing that they themselves are part of that equation. Now, notice that I did not say all married men, but many. For I have been blessed to be around more than a few guys who have shown me what a solid marriage relationship is. This union, this relationship, has never been about placating one half of the pair at the expense of the other. I've seen far too many men spend way too much time worrying about what they should do or say as to not offend their wives. Does it really matter? Isn't part of this union the idea of compromise as well? And, compromise doesn't sit too well with the idea of happy wife happy life. For nothing screams self importance loud enough than one person in a relationship becoming more important than the other. The fine line between what Norman Grubb saw as our self for self or self for others is all too often crossed when one desires to be a controlling part of a relationship. So, what is it you are looking to accomplish when you say happy wife happy life? Are you seeking to place upon your mate the love and honor she rightly deserves, or is her desire to be in control over you? The latter, I'm afraid, isn't biblical at all but a good demonstration of self for self thinking. We enter into this as well whenever a man desires to be the head of the family at all costs. Each decision goes through him. He's the money maker and the leader over his wife simply because some Christians have mistakenly claimed that this is Gods desire. Self for self.
And He answered and said to them, "Have you not heard that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' "and said, 'for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
Matthew 19: 4 - 6 NKJV
Tell me something, how does our idea of happy wife happy life fit in with what Jesus desires for us? What is it that Jesus desires for our marriage relationships? He tells us in Matthew 19. See, the Pharisees of His day asked Jesus about the subject of divorce. Jesus's answer was simple, 'And the two shall become one flesh.' Does Gods idea of "one flesh" agree with your idea of happy wife happy life? Not in my book mister yes man. Although the temporary peace we may acquire is nice, what happens the next time there is a disagreement, or the next? There comes a point where it's no longer about one flesh but about a self for self relationship. Yes men. This is why Gods idea of marriage fly's in the face of all we have tried to make it. There is no room for a true union in a happy wife happy life relationship. In fact, I'm actually in error when I refer to it as a true relationship. For that idea of happy wife happy life is but a relationship of convenience. I'll leave it to you to figure out who it is most convenient for. Is a 'suitable helper' one whom you serve or lord over without question? I believe that when we look upon our Lords true intentions of our marriage union, we might just be surprised by what we find. A relationship where two are equal. where two are one flesh. Indeed, without the happy wife happy life scenario there will be times when disagreements arise. However, what more true for of union is shown than when two people realize that it is not a certificate of paper or a wedding band which binds them, but who they are in Christ Jesus. One flesh, in Christ {Galatians 2:20}.
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
Ephesians 5: 28 - 29 NKJV
~Scott~
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