A Fathers Voice

Thinking back, I suppose it could be seen as abuse nowadays, but to me it was a awesome moment.  I was riding with my dad in that old Chevy truck of his, the one I anxiously looked for each time he promised to visit.  I was 10 years old and I was upset because my weekend with my dad was ending and he was driving me back home.  I guess dad sensed that his youngest boy was upset, because he reached over to hug me and reasure me that he'd be back soon.  Now, this may not seem like a big event in any family, but for me it was huge.  You see, I was 10 years old, and this was the very first time that I can remember my dad hugging me.  Whatever prompted him to show his affection at that moment wasn't important, as long as he did.  He followed that up with something else I cannot recall him ever doing before that moment.  My dad told me that he loved me.  At that moment, nothing else mattered, I was my dads boy!  Those words had a huge effect on me, and I still remember them today.  Whenever my dad would fail to keep his promise to visit, which happened alot, I still knew in my heart that my dad loved me!  I didn't learn until later the pain that my own father had growing up.  I remember my grandfather cherishing the visits that my brother and I made to "Grandmas house", but his relationship with his own children was far from ideal.  Grandpa was very strict and unemotional with my dad and his brothers, which may be where my dad developed his own behavior.  By grandpa not showing the loving, caring fathers voice to his children, my dad learned the same behavior.  Sure, we all have the freedom to choose our own actions, but what do you do when all you've ever known from your parents is distance, lack of affection and a harsh hand?  If grandpa loved his children, he didn't show it.  Fortunately, my mother had no issues showing her children love and affection.  If not for her, I may have gone a different road in life.  After my parents divorced, she made every effort to love and provide for my brother and myself.  It was through her love and encouragement that I eventually came to accept Jesus as my Lord.  I can remember my mom kneeling in prayer alot growing up, obviously asking for Gods help and guidance for raising such sweet, innocent boys :)  I remember praying with mom during one of those times in my life when I was feeling discouraged.  After praying for me she paused before finaly saying "Tell Scott that I love him."  I have no doubt that God had led her to tell me this at that low point in my life.  I'm blessed to have the memory that during two painful times in my life, I heard my fathers voice.