My Fathers World

 18‘I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, 19“and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” ’ 20“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21“And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22“But the father said to his servants,‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23‘And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24‘for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.
Luke 15: 18 - 24 NKJV

My dad was a complex person to understand.  At times sarcastic while at others he would be helping a neighbor who needed to find his lost chainsaw.  He would often lose himself in alchohol.  So much so that at times it seemed as if liquor was his closest friend in this world.  This was my fathers world.  For some time I gave him a pass on these behaviors for as I got older and wiser I came to understand just where he came from.  See, my dad grew up in a house where his own father was more overbearing than supportive to his own children.  All too often, dad would be the subjected to my grandfathers condemnation for one reason or another.  This is just how things were in my dads world.  I came to understand just why he left home early to join the navy and, when his days in the service ended, signed up for a job with the local county sheriff.  Growing up I really didn't understand too well why it was that dad didn't enjoy visits to my grandparents.  These days I can see why this would trouble him.  It seemed to me as if he were trying to distance himself from that part of his own life.  I don't blame him.  I've reflected on these memories for more than a few reasons since my dads passing.  See, my dad grew up in a different time than his son has.  I have heard men of his time refered to as "that greatest generation."  Indeed, these were the men who guided our world through a world war as well as the hell that was Vietnam.  I cannot imagine the world that my dad grew up in.  Sure, we have history books that tell us in great detail of the events which changed our nation, but our opprtunity to hear from those who lived it is growing shorter with each passing day.

9Also He spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: 10“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11“The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. 12‘I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’ 13“And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ 14“I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be dhumbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Luke 18: 9 - 14 NKJV

If I were to describe my dad in one word it would be...arrogance.  See, to him all of the things he did were the hallmarks of what a man really was.  The alchohol, women and abusive behavior were all that it took to be a man in his world.  I've often thought about how my dad would see me...would I even be a man in his eyes?  Of course, I know in my heart that I have long since crossed that threshhold of my life.  Still, each day I come across those of my dads generation who still hold to those old ways of manhood.  I have a coworker who, for all his strengths, is a transplant from the old days.  When I see his behaviors and how it is he treats his family it's almost like I'm seeing a movie of my own fathers life.  So, what is it that makes a man?  Granted, that question may be open to more than a few opinions.  For me, a man is more of how we see ourselves than how others view us.  I have often heard Jesus refered to as "the man" Christ Jesus.  We accept that Jesus was indeed a man.  In fact, many a christian book has been written on how we can use the example of Jesus to be a real man in our world.  Even though I agree, we need to understand just how much of man Christ, and we ourselves, are.  The apostle Paul tells us that it is Christ who now lives through us {Galations 2:20}.  That person who we used to be is now gone, replaced by the Spirit of Christ Jesus.  So, as much of a man as Christ was, so we are through Him.  This is why I need not strive to uphold the standards my dad set forth for being a man in someone elses eyes.  I am a man in Christ.  I'm not too sure just how my dad would have taken to his son relishing in such "bogus" religion.  Truth is, I never had the opportunity to ask him.

20“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."
Galations 2: 20 NKJV

~Scott~