Sex And What Jesus Told Me

1Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7: 1 - 5 NKJV

I've heard a lot of complaints over the years of how hollywood and our ever so popular culture has minimalized marriage and glorified sex in our society.  I will say that I agree.  However, as they say, sex sells.  I am of the opinion, however, that we cannot have one without the other.  Now, those who really know me may be surprised to hear such a statement coming from me, but I'll say it anyway.  Yes, this man who has spent more time in strip clubs than most couples spend in marriage counseling.  How is it that I, a former porn addict, would know anything at all about sex and marriage?  Well, simply put, Jesus told me.  Yes, despite my past history, it is Christ Jesus who saved me from my own past {Romans 6: 6-11}.  It should be no secret how Jesus Himself views sex.  In the book of Matthew we see Him address this topic.  Jesus' view on sex is made abundantly clear in Matthew 19, verse 5.  Here He lays it out for us, that a man and a woman shall be joined together and become ONE FLESH.  That's right, not simply two seperate individuals...but one in Christ.  Keep in mind that in the Jewish culture of Jesus' day, people usually were married by the age of 13 or 14.  Therefore, sex before marriage was more than likely not a issue.  Of course, that would never jive with our own sex saturated culture.  Maybe it's the former porn addict in me talking, but isn't sex a normal human function?  Well, I used to think so.  That is, before Jesus told me different.  I find it rather curious that our sex glorified society exploded in the mid to late 60's.  Yes, it was here that the "free love" of the hippie era began.  In my opinion, what many called womens liberation was nothing more than enslavement to a idea.  The idea that sex was good, and that women could be used for that purpose.  Do you think that I had respect for women as I made my way through the strip clubs of Portland?  Usually not.  For me, it was all about what I desired.  Sadly, this is the mindset of more than a few people today.

4And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5“and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Matthew 19: 4 - 6 NKJV

One of the most accurate descriptions of sex that I've come across came from Wayne Jacobsen when he described it as a "bond" in the marriage relationship.  Of course, this is exactly what Jesus was telling us in Matthew 19.  Remember, one flesh!  We also see in Pauls letter to the Corinthians that he warned them of sexual immorality {1 Corinthians 7:2}.  So, it seems that sex has been around for awhile.  Even though our own culture has embraced a sex crazed society, we by no means own the idea of glorifying sex.  I've often thought that our own views of sex could be traced to that false belief that we are our own independent beings.  That is, we are seperated from our creator.  Of course, this cannot be true, for Gods fingerprints are all over His creation.  Not only that, Paul tells us that it is Christ Jesus who lives in us {Galations 2:20}.  This truth has never seemed to squash the independent self narrative however.  Can you see how our own views of sex can be affected by this lie?  Despite knowing (and most of us do) that sex before marriage is wrong, we figure that we do not share a connection with God.  He's in heaven, totally removed from our lives.  That is, until we need Him, right?  Sorry, it doesn't work that way.  We may WANT it to, but it doesn't.  Everything that affects us and our lives each and every day is lovingly connected to God.  Yes, even the sex we engage in before marriage.  Huh?  That's right, this gift He has reserved for the marriage relationship has been indulged in by those for whom it was never intended.  Now, God will definately feel sad and regret that we made such choices, but He is still our loving heavenly Father.  We shouldn't expect any fire nor brimstone to fall from the sky anytime soon.  That's sooooo old covenant.  I know a guy who would continually make the point that the guy who engages in adultry should be booted out of the church.  Sadly, there are may christians out there who feel as he does.  If we see sex and our own relationship with Christ in the right way, we'll see just where we've dropped the ball.  Yes, God has destined sex for the marriage relationship.  However, do not fear if you, like me, have marginalized His gift for our own desires.  It is never Gods intention to withhold any gift from His children.  That's just something Jesus told me. 

~Scott~