1 John 3: 17 NKJV
Recently, I was asked by a friend of mine to speak to a group of young people about my own life experiences. Needless to say, I was both honored and hesitant a the same time. Honored by the fact that he would choose me for this, but yet hesitant by the fact that doing so would dig up some old bones I had buried long ago. Yes, contrary to popular belief I have not always been the scripture quoting nice guy some may see me as. Those who know me have been privy to the past I have shared with them, some of which I am not proud of. Yet, as I thought about it I came to the conclusion that I needed to do this. If not for me, then for these young people who have been up to this point struggling through life. See, my friend works with youth who have been involved with addictions and other destructive behaviors. Indeed, my heart goes out to these who have suffered so much at such a young age. While I cannot imagine the struggles they have overcome, I know that by speaking my experiences to them may help them realize that they are not alone. There has been many a time where I myself have felt as if I was on this hamster wheel of life all by myself. While I managed to avoid the alcohol and drug addictions of others, I didn't walk away unscathed in my own experiences. My own drug of choice turned out to be pornography, and it was just as destructive as any drug we might have come across. Science tells us that pornography triggers the very same pleasure centers of the brain that cocaine, meth or any other drug will. So, in this way, I became addicted to both the images and ideas of this drug. In some way, it is easier for recovering addicts to speak to alcohol and drug addictions than to that of pornography. There is a stigma there born out of the domination and violence of those who have suffered this sickness. I was fortunate, in a way, that my own addiction never owned me to the point where I ran afoul of the law. For that I am thankful to Jesus who knocked on that door at just the right moment.
Therefore, do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God.
2 Timothy 1: 8 NKJV
For those who may not know, there is a reason why every alcoholics anonymous meeting is punctuated by the confessions of those who have suffered. Lest we forget. Believe me, I would love to simply say that my experiences I've faced never happened. However, the trouble with this is that in their own way, my struggles made me the man that I am today. It is not the easy, walks in the sunshine which will build in us the character we need to survive. On the contrary, our character is born out of pain, addiction and struggle. For if bad experiences are the true measure of a man, then indeed I have plenty to share. I look upon this opportunity to speak to a group of young people not as what not to do, but speak to them what I've done in the hope that they will see the folly in pursuing such elusive pleasures. I only wish that I had someone earlier in my life who would have shared the same experiences with me. This is the power of our testimony, and how we can use it to change the lives of those around us. We might see our experiences as a dark stain upon our lives, but how much more encouraging are these words to someone needing to hear the message that they, too, can overcome? That is my hope, not that these young people will listen to me and see that these are the wrong things to do, but that God has chosen them for something far better. It is the message I received that night when I was about to enter just another strip club only to be stopped in my tracks by the realization that...this isn't who I am.
~Scott~
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