Romans 8: 14 - 17 NKJV
I've noticed in more than a few conversations lately the unraveling of more than a few family relationships. In my own family, I struggle with establishing contact with a part of the family which has been silent for years. Albeit through pride, abuse or simply not wanting to be a part of certain family relationships, we may be losing what our Lord once brought together. I talked with a lady the other day who was almost brought to tears as she told me that she refused to be a part of her family due to physical abuse when she was younger. I get it, I've been there. Thisn isn't a issue with just non religious families. I would say that nobody is immune to our own human issues we all face. That's the key, isn't it? How is it that we ourselves deal with those issues that we come across daily? Do we face them straight on or do we pile them upon others. My own father seemed to deal with most of his own issues with alchohol. Not the smartest choice I'm guessing. It's no wonder that so many households are wrecked by the abuse of alchohol. But what is it really that is at the core of many of our own bent family relationships? I've thought about this problem more and more over the past few years and I've come to the conclusion that all too often we refuse to see beyond ourselves. Is someone facing a family issue due to their own behavior? Well, their easiest out is to lay the blame where it in no way belongs, on the rest of the family. Have we somehow felt slighted by one family member or another? All too often the solution is to isolate ourselves from the rest of the family. Instead of swallowing our own pride and embracing love and forgiveness we lay that gulf between ourselves and others. Our own actions are the flames that ultimately burn those bridges. Of course we know that there is another way, but I guess that means that we would need to face our own issues.
17Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19We love Him because He first loved us.
20If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, dhow can he love God whom he has not seen?
1 John 4: 17 - 20 NKJV
I have a coworker who has not talked with certain members of his family for years due to a family argument from years ago. In his eyes, it's his own way of showing them that he was right. Really? I guarantee you that they may have long ago forgotten whatever dispute triggered the current situation. Yet we continue in our own beliefs that we are right. Pride indeed goes before the fall all too often. Now, I can't compell anyone to love their brother, but what I can do is relate my own experiences and hope that others will see that there is another way. For so many years I remained out of contact with my own father, thinking that it was he who refused to open that door. In retrospect, both of us may have been waiting for the other to open the door of reconciliation. As the years went by, the pain of not having communication with my father grew, until the day the door closed for good. Do I regret not rising above myself and reaching out to him? Every day. Now I'm faced with opening those lines of communication with the other side of my own family. Why is it that I write about this? I do it so that others in a similar situation might learn from my mistakes and missed opportunities. We may only get so many chances to heal old wounds. We are never promised tommorow.
I have often wondered just how my dad saw me in all those years we never talked. Did he see me as his son or just some aquaintance from long ago. That question was partially answered as I glanced at his obituary recently. Mark Wakefield...survived by his sons David Wakefield and Scott Wakefield.
20“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21“And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22“But the father said to his servants, f‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23‘And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24‘for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.
Luke 15: 20 - 24 NKJV
~Scott~
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