Matthew 5: 27 - 28 NKJV
I recently had the opportunity to share a part of my own story of that part of my life stuck in the addictions of pornography. Even though I had my own misgivings about making this part of my past public, the motive that drove me was that maybe one of these men would find my words helpful. After all, for all that I have been through in the throes of my struggle, if I can help one man recognize the evils of this "man thing" then I've accomplished something. To my surprise, one of the guys in our group also admitted to suffering through the same addiction I had. Although I know that I am not alone in my struggle, struggles with pornography are not something which men typically talk about. On the contrary, men who struggle with such things are all too often heralded as being a mans man. Someone to model other men after. I get it. For the longest time as I struggled in my own hell, I convinced myself that I was only doing what guys do. Of course, that didn't erase the shame I felt each and every time time I delved into my addiction. In fact, there continue to be those in the scientific community who continue to claim that a mans habits into pornography cannot constitute an addiction in the same way which a common street narcotic can. It seems that being addicted to a substance is more powerful than being enslaved to a behavior. Again, I get it. Although I've never been addicted to either drugs or alchohol, I'm told that my own addiction mimicked the symptoms as if I had been a common meth addict. I had the desires to have my "fix" of what it was I felt I needed to satisfy me. I'm told that those who have suffered through drug addiction have had these very same feelings. Again, this is what men do right? Then why did I feel so ashamed for what I was doing? Why is it that I spoke with church elders and pastors for my own freedom from what guys do? Because, friends, it's not just a guy thing. As I found out, it also wasn't what God had planned for my life.
27So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
Genesis 1: 27 NKJV
It was hard for me to fathom that my heavenly Father, who provided for the forgiveness of my sins, would somehow desire for me to remain in bondage to my own behaviors. Now, I call it bondage because that is exactly what it is. Yes, this description will fit into my story a little further along the way. Along the way, I also discovered that the church I was doing men a great disservice by not tackling the issue of pornography addiction. This is made more of an issue when you consider that the objects of our own desires are someones wife, mother or daughter. Sure, they would listen to my story, tell me that God loved me and then recommend that I partake in some church sponsored group or seminar designed to tell me how much I needed to pray and take on a accoutability partner. Well, the problem with being in accountability with another man is that, unless there is a deep trusting relationship, the only thing gained is more guilt and shame. Think about it, who enjoys talking to another man once a week where the conversation is usually centered around how much I screwed up? For this reason I gave up the accountability path. Still my question remained unanswered, was this what God had in store for me? This was the question I asked a friend of mine some time after leaving the church which had failed me. His response? Hey, Scott, you're dead to that now. What? In my heart I knew that I belonged to Jesus, and that He had guaranteed that my sins were gone forever. Yeah, but there was still that porn issue right? Apparently I wasn't seeing the whole picture of what it is Christ accomplished on that cross. Not only did He become sin on my behalf, but He tackled the entire sin issue so that I wouldn't have to deal with it any longer. The apostle Paul tells us in Romans that it is Jesus who has delivered us from the bondage of sin {Romans 6:6}. In order for that to happen, the old man (old sin nature) needed to be put to death along with Him. Of this I am now assured. I've been asked a few times what I would tell someone struggling with the same issue I have. The answer isn't too hard...we're dead to that.
6knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be adone away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin.7For he who has died has been freed from sin. 8Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, 9knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. 10For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. 11Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6: 6 - 11 NKJV
~Scott~
No comments:
Post a Comment