Saturday, May 4, 2019

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 25The other disciples therefore said to him, “We have seen the Lord.”So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”26And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!”27Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.”28And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!”29Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
John 20: 25 - 29 NKJV

I thumbed through a book some years back titled "so you don't want to go to church anymore" by Wayne Jacobsen.  Now, I have to admit that the very title of this book fit the narrative of my own life at that point, for I had grown pretty discontent with the goings on of the church I was attending.  Yeah, I could have simply shopped around for another church which would have agreed with what I wanted to hear, but would that really solve my issue?  In this book, a disillusioned young pastor (Jake) who has become increasingly numb in his own christian life.  In the begining of the book, Jake is introduced to a man whom he swears could very well be the apostle John, thus this mysterious character goes by the name John.  So there you have it, two christians (I include myself) increasingly frustrated with the christian life.  It is obvious how I came to see this book as a naration of my own christian life at the time.  I knew there was something missing, and a change of church venues was not going to solve the problem.  If I had changed churches, I would simply gotten more of the same, the STORY of Jesus.  Well, I already knew the story of Jesus, I'd heard it in one fashion or another for years in church after church.  Yet, one thing I had ever heard one pastor talk about was who this man Jesus was.  I'd heard all about how Jesus talked, lived His life and ministered to others, but what about the personal Jesus?  Could that be what I was missing?  Could it be what we have all been missing for all of these years?  The frustrating part is that, unlike a book, I saw no way to walk right up to Jesus and introduce myself.  In my heart I knew I wanted that kind of one on one relationship with the Man who had come to save me.  After all, hadn't Jesus Himself prayed that I would be one with He and the Father{John 17:21}?  This is the personal relationship I wanted with Jesus.  This is the relationship that transcends the stories and sermons which we have all heard about Him.  It is totally different to read about Jesus than to have a relationship with Him.  I can read about  a friend of mine, but unless we share that one on one personal relationship do we really know each other? 

"Although I had been a Christian for more than two decades, I had no concept of who Jesus was as a person and no idea how I could change that.”
~Wayne Jacobsen~

The first idea I had that I could have a relationship with the Jesus I was looking for came from, oddly enough, a retired pastor who had spent years in the church "system."  Like me, he had come to his own realization that what he was missing was a more personal relationship with Christ.  Again, a personal relationship with Jesus is really not something that is stressed in modern institutional church doctrine.  The idead that sinful man could walk side by side in relationship with Jesus was simply...blasphemy.  After all, wasn't it Jesus who had been raised into heaven to be seated next to the Father after His resurection?  Well, for most christians seeking to know Christ, this is where the story ends.  You have Jesus in heaven looking down upon all of us who are simply trying to know Him better.  Was this how it was meant to be?  Not by a long shot.  The apostle Paul gives hope for those yearning for that personal relationship with Jesus.  He tells us of our lives living with Jesus {Romans 6:8}.  Paul also tells us that it is Jesus who lives through us today {Galations 2:20}.  These were verses which gave me hope in my own search to come know the man Jesus.  To my surprise, the story of Jesus didn't end as He rose into heaven.  This was just the begining.  For now Jesus isn't bound by the fleshly form of the man in which He had first presented Himself to the apostles.  It is this image of Christ Jesus in which we were all created {Genesis 1:26}.  We are all made in His image.  The image of Jesus which we need to embrace is not one of seperation, but of union.  There is no seperation between Jesus and Gods children.  This is a myth which has been taught over and over again by the church.  This is a myth which makes it almost impossible to come to know the man Jesus on a personal level.  This was never the desire of Christ.  The desire of Jesus, as He prayed, that we would be one as He and the Father are one.  That prayer has been answered. 

20“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."
Galations 2: 20 NKJV

~Scott~

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