Luke 1: 26 - 30 NKJV
Most people I meet for the first time have no idea of that young man I used to be. He was a sight to see for sure. Proud, pretentious and arrogant, he certainly left his mark on those he met. Usually I stay away from looking back upon those years, as some of them were not my proudest moments. However, if there were ever one person who always seemed to accept me for who I really was it was my mom. These days, there are a few dates each year that I NEVER look forward to. One is April 25th while the other is christmas eve. April 25th being my mothers birthday and christmas eve being the night she was brought to the hospital for the final time. It hurts me that there remain some memories of her that cause me pain, but that's all a part of our own grieving process I'm guessing. I will say that these days those happy memories outnumber the sad ones, which is a good thing. If she were still with us, I just know that she would ask me not to be sad for her. She often talked of that day when she would at last be at home with her heavenly Father. It is my mom who, despite whatever it is I had done, was quick to forgive even as I condemned myself. Like most mothers, she saw in me the good which I all too often didn't. It seems that this is one of the more endearing characteristics of motherhood. It is most always the mother who, when faced with the wrong behaviors of youth, offer not the harsh punishment we may very well deserve, but the love and forgiveness we need for the healing within ourselves. I've often been in wonder of just how our heavenly Father has orchestrated that family dynamic which we, His children, all too often follow. It's the father who we traditionally see as the family leader, bread winner and enforcer. At least that is how I saw my dad. However, in my family those roles were reversed. The day my father chose to no longer be a part of his family was the day my mom took on the roles of both mother and father. The role of the mother she knew by heart, and she did it well. However, she was unprepared and ill equipped to take on that father role. This simply wasn't the ideal family situation which she thought her heavenly Father had in mind for her. I get it. I mean, we've all been tossed into those situations which we're dead sure God didn't mean to put us in. Would the God she loved ever leave her and her boys at the mercy of the world? Well, as she would find out in the years to come, God was often the only one she could place her trust in.
15So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.”16And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. 17Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which was told them concerning this Child. 18And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds. 19But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.
Luke 2: 15 - 19 NKJV
One thing I will say is that when it comes to the man of faith I have become, a lot of that credit goes to my mom. One of the more powerful memories I have is of my mother on her knees in front of that old couch in the living room praying. This is where I would find her when the troubles of life would catch up with her. This is where she often went when there seemed that there was no other way. In these moments, her heart would cry out to the Lord for guidance and direction. In her mind, there was no other way. This was the faith in the Lord which I grew up in. My mom never told me to take the easy way out, to just do what everybody else was doing. It was understood that when things got tough, God was the only constant we had. Another constant growing up was that sunday was church day. Of course, more than once sunday became a source of contention between mother and son. I mean, there I was going off to church while all of my friends were doing what "normal" kids do. Of course, it was no secret that many of their families themselves struggled with their own issues. That didn't matter to my mom. Those other kids could do what they wanted in life, NOT her boys. As I look back on those days I realize that she more than likely saved me from more trouble than I deserved. I guess mother really does know best. As I mentioned, a lot of the man I am today I can credit to the influence of one person. For that I am grateful. Would I have eventually found the Lord had she not stood her ground? Maybe, but I wouldn't change the experiences I've come to know for any sort of riches. As the scripture tells us, what good does it profit a man to gain the world but lose his own soul? I will always appreciate those who tell me that the Lords Spirit is in me. I know that mom was proud of the man her son had become. Thank you, mom.
~Scott~
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