Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. But we know that the judgement of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgement of God?
Romans 2: 1-3 NKJV
there was a craze in the christian community a few years back in which men would hold each other accountable in their attempts at righteous living. In fact, many of our churches were 100% on board with this idea. What could go wrong? Here was an idea to have men being held accountable to one another as they strove to arrive at Gods ideal behavior of righteous living. Even I was involved in a few of these relationships. However, I soon learned that there were holes in the system. And I wasn't the only one. Not surprisingly, many christian men tried, and failed, in their attempts at being accountable to another. Big shock huh? For anyone who has been invilved in one of these relationships, it might seem like one or the other person comes out feeling like a whipping post! For there are two elements in every accountability relationship that almost always pop up. That would be judgement and condemnation.
There is now therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the spirit. For the law of the Spirit of Life in Chhrist Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh.
Romans 8: 1-3 NKJV
In such a relationship, one or both of those involved agree to open up their hearts and reveal each and every sin, iniquity and dirty thought they've had during the week. Now, here's where things get interesting, the other person, the one not pouring his guts out, is usually the one banging that old condemnation drum! "How can you live with yourself , man?" "You REALLY need to be in scripture alot more, dude!" "What would Jesus think of what you're doing?" Does anyone but me see a problem with this approach? First off, this is a pretty combative approach to someone who is willingly laying open their heart to someone. Yes, the old judgement and condemnation is alive and well here! Now, here is the contradiction to this approach fellow christians. As we see in Romans 8:1, there is now NO condemnation for those of us who are in Christ Jesus! So, fellow christians, why is it that we feel so free to condemn someone who has no condemnation in them at all? Wait, it gets better. For in Romans 2:1, the apostle Paul warns us against judging others. For in whatever we judge another, we condemn ourselves! Does that nulify all accountability relationships? Not at all. For when done right and from a servant led heart, there can be a powerful accountability relationship between two people. To start with, there needs to be a high level of trust between two people even considering such a relationship. For how can one feel totally comfortable with bearing their heart to another unless there is trust that the other side will not judge or condemn them?
I mentioned being led by a servant heart when engaging in a accountability relationship. It is my belief that this is a key factor. For when we are led by a servant heart, we look beyond our own pride and ourselves and look to truly helping the other person we're meeting with. Of course, this kind of trust only comes with knowing someone for a pretty long time. I personally have a very close relationship with four christian brothers in my life. It is these brothers whom I call my "Core four." I know in my heart that I can come to any one of these guys for guidance and trust that it is spirit led. In fact, with the recent passing of my mother, the very first calls I made were to these brothers. Yes, it's taken time for me to build trust and friendship with these men, but today they number among my closest friends. Is accountability dead? Not if it is done correctly.
~Scott~
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