A Love Worth Giving

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
Ephesians 5: 28-29 NKJV

Why is it that people enter into marriage?  Is it the tradition?  Not wanting to lose the object of their affections to someone else?  Is it for financial reasons?  Whatever the reason, I'm convinced that there are more than a few couples out there who married for the wrong reasons.  My own parents were one of those ill fated couples.  My parents were married when they were very young, basicaly to escape their home environments.  I'm guessing they thought that getting married would be a quick end to the troubles they had at home.  It turns out it was only the begining.  For my dads part, his alchoholism and poor moral choices eventually led to the destruction of a marriage union.  Had my mother contemplated a divorce earlier, she would have risked a return to the home environment she had fought to leave.  It was a situation beneficial to only one person, my father.
So, what is it that makes for a successful marriage?  I recently asked this question of a few trusted friends of mine.  My friend Dennis' response was the one that stuck with me the most.  One of the big reasons that he and his wife Shirley have been together for so many years was that divorce was "NEVER an option."  I didn't pry any further, but I'm sure that they have had their tough times as any married couple has.  I feel that there are far too many couples today who, when tough times come, look for a quick way out of their marriage.  So it was with my parents.  Not all marriages fall into this catagory, but with a nearly 50% divorce rate in this country, something is wrong somewhere.
Ephesians 5:28 may give us a look into how to make a successful marriage.   I say this because I've seen far too many marriage relationships where either the husband or the wife are THE center of that relationship.  Most everything about the relationship centers around that particular person.  I can't  relate how many times I've been in a conversation with another man, and when the subject of his wife comes up he'll smile and say "She takes good care of me."  Ok, well, what do you do for her?  I haven't seen too many marriage relationships where the husband follows the Ephesians 5: 28 example.  Then again, marriage isn't  just a christian institution either.
I've titled this entry "A love worth giving" simply because I feel that one of the keys to a strong marriage lies within the verses of Ephesians 5: 28-29.  It's fair to mention that I've never been married, but I've experienced the consequences of a failed marriage firsthand.  What if we, instead of looking for what our mate can do for us, if we simply decided what we could do FOR them?  How gracious and  loving will we be when we GIVE love and not simply expect that it be given to us?  Is it impossible to love ones wife as much as we love ourselves?  Since I've never been married, I may be the wrong person to ask.  However, I will say that some of us definately love ourselves ALOT.  I bring up my friend Dennis once more (sorry bud) only because of a statement he made to me the other day.  It would seem that I was seeking his advice on a certain female I was fond of.  Dennis' advice?  "What do you want to do FOR her?"  I'm still pondering that one.

~Scott~